This is a secret ritual to summon the abomination that is EVILPATRIXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXDROWNED.EXE.
# Grab a potato.
# Grab a chicken.
# Stuff the potato into the chicken.
# Stuff the chicken into a blender.
# Place a dorito into the blender.
# Scream "BACKWARDS MESSAGE." 5 times backwards, and then press the button on the blender.
# Bill Cipher will appear.
# Make a deal with him. Make sure to not to sell your soul with him.
# Once the deal is done, show Bill one of your favorite picture books.
# He will read it for exactly 666 hours. When he is done, he will give you whatever you asked for from the deal, and then steal your car or other motorized vehicle. If you do not have one, then he will punch you in the face and ascend to a higher plane of existence.
# Get a cell phone. If you do not have one, than steal one.
# Take a selfie, and post it to Instagram.
# Scream "#SELFIE" 735891378951378381297138931879831753198137 times.
# The Pyro will appear.
# Repeat the first 6 steps.
# Once Bill is summoned again, he and the Pyro will merge into Pyro Cipher.
# Pyro Cipher will burn your most valuable possession.
# Get another potato and a cake and put them into the blender, then use it.
# GLaDOS will appear. Pyro Cipher and GLaDOS will merge into PYRO CiPHER.
# PYRO CiPHER will attempt to make a deal with you, DO NOT MAKE A DEAL WITH IT. YOUR HAND WILL BURN OFF.
# Kill PYRO CiPHER with a weapon. It doesn't matter what the weapon is as long as it isn't a gun.
# PYRO CiPHER will turn into the possession from before.
# Put the possession into the blender and press the blend button.
# Caillou will appear. Shove him into the blender.
# Repeat the previous steps.
# Congrats, you just wasted your time.
# Press the freakin' button.
# You will get a potato. Surround this potato with rainbow scented candles and light the candles.
# Chant "BAA" 420 times.
# EVILPATRIXXXDROWNED.EXE will appear. Ask him for one favor.
# He will give you the thing you asked for.